If anything can go wrong, it will.
O'Tools Commentary on Murphy's law
Murphy was an optimist.
The unspeakable Law
As soon as you mention something...
...if it's good, it goes away...
...if it's bad, it happens...
Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectations
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.
The other line moves faster.
That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Hoare's Law of Large Problems
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
Boren's First Law
When in doubt, mumble.
The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Jennings Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules
The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the times, and the last 10% takes the other 90%.