Signatures for emails

Mac Related Signatures

You will know fear. Then you will know pain. Then you will use a Mac.

I live with fear, death, and evil...but sometimes I turn it off and use a Mac.

You really need to be careful when there's 50 billion dollars worth of shoddy computer software lying around this country.

Help! Help! He's STILL being held prisoner in a system software factory! -- Mac System Software

SCSI is *NOT* magic. There are *fundamental technical reasons* why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then. -- John Woods

Get a Life. Get a Mac.

Let's face it - people use Macs because they want to, PCs because they have to.

Macintosh is why computers are fun! -- Mark Handler

There are only three types of computer users: Those that use Macs. Those that wished they used Macs. Those that don't know any better.

The software box said I needed "Windows© 95 or Better" so I bought a Mac.

Bill Gates to his broker: "You spent my 150 Million on WHAT?! I said SNAPPLE©!"

INTEL INSIDE: The worlds most widely used warning label.

...remember the last time Steve Jobs and Apple came up with new operating system: it took a long time for someone to come up with a really bad copy. -- Glenn Verhalle

To see tomorrow's PC, look at today's Macintosh. -- BYTE Magazine

"I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than Windoze in front of me..." -- Brian J. Lowry

"To begin with, we simply couldn't do what we wanted to do on Windows© machines, even today, without undue hardship in terms of flexibility and ease of use." -- Dirk Van Dall, Showtime Networks, Inc.

Never ask a man what sort of computer he drives. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?" -- Tom Clancy

In a world without walls or fences, what use do we have for Windows© or gates?

If switching to a single OS saves money, how come no IS manager going all-Windoze has EVER asked for a cut in budget and/or staff?

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use wordwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. --New York Times, November 26, 1991

"There might be less software on the Mac side of the aisle, but a lot of what1s produced for Windows© isn1t all that good. Crap does not survive in the Mac market." -- James Staten, Dataquest, ABCNews.com

I don't do .INI, .BAT, .DLL or .SYS files. I don't assign apps to files. I don't configure Peripherals or networks before using them. I have a computer to do all that. I have a Macintosh, not a hobby. -- Fritz Anderson

"Usually Mac users are able to solve most of their problems without any help from us." -- BellSouth ISP Tech Support

When do you want to crash today? (Just before you hit the save button sounds nice;-)

Customer: "I'm running Windows© '95." Tech Support: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isn't working now." Tech Support: "Yes, you said that." -- Pete Zimowski

One advantage of the MacOS.... "Windows© 95 doesn't smile back at me when I turn it on." -- Paulo Elias

Windows© 95: All the look of MacOS with none of the features.

Windows© 95(n) - 32-bit extensions and graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

I complained because I had no shoes; then I met a man who had no feet. I complained because I had no PowerMac; then I met a man who used Windows©. -- James Bucanek

Guy 1: "Man, you have a horrible virus on your computer!" Guy 2: "I do?" Guy 1: "Oh, my bad, It's just Windows©."

Saying Windows© 95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming. -- Guy Kawasaki

Mac users often swear by their Macs, whereas PC users often swear at their PCs

Microsoft©: Sorry, you can't go there. Windows©: Where was it you wanted to go again? Microsoft©: If you want to go there, you can't go anywhere else. -- Harvey Jones

Microsoft©: What do you want to assimilate today? Microsoft©: Where did you want to go yesterday? Microsoft©: Too bad, you're coming with us.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher regard those who think alike than those who think differently. -- Nietzche

An intuitive, user friendly computer for the rest of us. -- Old Apple Slogan

Life's short - use Mac OS 8. -- Unknown

WARNING: THIS IS A DESIGNATED FLYING SLEDGEHAMMER AREA.

Windows© NT 4.0: The world's only fully buzzword compliant Operating System.

Just Plain Funny Ones

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. -- Unknown

Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. -- Unknown

Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland. -- Unknown

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. -- Unknown

You can't fall off the floor. -- Unknown

No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind. -- Unknown

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. -- Unknown

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. -- Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something. -- Unknown

Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear. -- Unknown